I want to write about ideals vs reality, if you want to be an artist and actor and musician do not try to be a musician or artist or an actor.
Don’t try, just look where you are, look at it fully without any resistance. Look without any needing it to be anything else except for what it is look directly at it deeper and deeper to the granular level to its atoms to all the different lights and shapes and colours, not needing to shape it to be anything except it’s shape. If they are Hollywood stories don’t shape it to Van Gogh paintings don’t shape it to Hozier songs. You can trust everything you’re feeling. Honestly and Boldly, say exactly what it is and do not look away do not think “maybe this means that” don’t care what it means.
Look at it with the Bright Light of Day and dark twinkle of night just look directly at it fully and say what it is that is the only way you can live, the only way you can sustain. Otherwise, you are a parody, otherwise you are a character. A character is not a renewable energy source it is not truth, truth is the only thing that can sustain because truth is eternal.